Red Dragon and Kitty Glitter hit Vegas

Last night, that reknowned international gambler Mr. P ( aka ‘Red Dragon’ ) and his glamourous table assistant ‘Kitty Glitter’, his wife of eight years, were seen taking their chance with lady luck at the infamous Wynn casino complex. Wearing a maroon wool-mix V-neck sweater which sources reveal had not been changed for quite some time, Dragon looked relaxed and nonchalent as he cashed in a staggering $40 in exchange for roulette chips. Kitty Glitter, always at his side, was seen to whisper guidance in his ear to aid his betting strategy. And lady luck certainly seemed to be holding Dragon’s hand. A huge scoop of nearly $5 left onlookers gasping as Dragon started out on a roller coaster evening of highs and lows. Kitty, sublime in a H&M £7.99 top, teamed with jeans and a pair of black Clarks pumps which we understand had been passed to her by Mrs.Q, seemed agitated and on edge. It was later revealed that she had suffered an enourmous loss of more than $7 on the Black Jack pokeys and hadn’t yet come to terms with her financial situation. At this point in the evening Dragon was seen to order one of the free beers from the hostess roaming the tables. Unfortunately, lady luck seemed to have let go of Dragon’s hand and a series of crippling losses meant that in a short space of time, circa 15 minutes,  he had surrendered all of his chips to the house. Regretably, within this short period of time, the hostess had not had time to return with his drink. Dragon was heard to mutter to Kitty ‘ do you think we can just hang around the table until she shows again with my beer or would that be really scummy?’ Clearly a decision was made to move on as the couple were spotted making their way to the 1cent and 5cent slot machines where, after losing a further $2, Kitty was heard to exclaim ‘ these things are fixed. Lets go back to the room and have one of those diet cokes we bought from the supermarket and some of those salted cashews.’

We can but wait to see what tonight brings the hapless couple…