Lesson learnt. Every time. Stick to a Jamie Oliver and it takes a lot to go wrong. For people like me who are not ‘delicate’ cooks, baking frosted cup cakes and simmnel cakes at every opportunity, a Jamie Oliver offers the chance to get down, get mucky and get throwing a load of garb in, to produce edible food-related products. So, with my annual Father’s Day Al Fresco Soiree looming, I decided to pull out the Mr.O’s and make something which I didn’t need to revert to Prozac to cook. So, as Dad loves all things pasta, I decided to make Jamie’s fish lasagne – a bit fiddly but well worth it. We started with a selection of mediterranean yummies such as baked camemberts soaked in wine and studded with garlic – SO easy – SO unhealthy, baked tomatoes, chorizo and other such easy ’shove in the oven and then shove in your mouth’ items. Dessert was Mr O’s Maple Pecan Tart and Eton Mess. A total calorific over-load. But was the food the star attraction? How could it be dear reader with Lord Chortles in attendance, entertaining us with his pithy annecodotes, endearing sense of humour and his enquiring mind. Sporting the very latest in pastel dungarees and a new side parting, LC really looked the part as he headed up the dining room table. We thank you LC for making our Father’s Day Soiree so successful and special. And what of Mrs Q ? After arriving with Mr Q and kindly passing me a large box of chocolates : ‘they were half price’ we came to a decision. Due to our mutual ballooning weight problem we are now on a diet and competing to lose half a stone within the shortest possible time frame. Mrs Q is starting with a diet which she reliably informs me is recommended to heart patients pre – surgery: nil by mouth for 3 days followed by a week of salad.  I however will be doing it the sensible way – nothing for 2 weeks except her half price box of chocolates, the odd cod curry and a post work glass of white to supress any latent hunger. We shall be reporting back shortly on progress.

Now, if this little introdution gives the impression that I am a Domestic Goddess ( or in the words of Mrs Q – Domestic Slag ) then think again. For, this evening I thought I would come home and treat Mr P to a Thai Cod Curry, Thai Salad and Rice in the garden – candles et al. All I can say is, Delia – get a grip love – re-think and then re-think again. How can your ‘quick cod and mango thai curry’ produce something that looked like fish desperately trying to swim out of a coconut sludge. And as for the thai salad – Ian’s words ring in my ears : ‘ I can’t eat that – I wouldn’t make that again.’ Yes – another post-work culinary failure. Not enough chilli, too much coconut milk and too much bloody mess. Sorry Delia – but you just don’t do it for me. Give me Mr O any day. Now where are Mrs Q’s ‘eat by 31st December 2008′ half price chocolates…