Spent a fascinating morning at the Las Vegas Neon Museum, situated downtown near Freemont Street. The ‘museum’ is actually outdoors and consists of two large lots packed full with old neon signs rescued or purchased by the museum. There was no wandering around by yourself, we had to book a ‘guide’ who helped us through the maze of rusty metal, shattered bulbs and old neon tubes. But, despite our loathing for any sort of ‘guided tour’, the volunteer who took us was amazing. She had worked in one of the casinos back when they were run by ‘the mob’ rather than the present day corporations. She had so much to share on the different signs in terms of how they were made, information about each establishment and the project to preserve the old ‘neon’ Vegas. Early that evening we returned to the downtown area where many of the old signs from the fifties and sixties have been preserved and were lit up. This was the Vegas I’d been longing to see rather than the plastic fantastic strip. There was a sense of seediness to Freemont Street and the surrounding area but also one of pure vintage bling. And returning on the bus, we passed lots of wedding chapel signs illuminated for business and were lucky enough to see a wedding party outside one of them.

And out last evening in Vegas? Well Dragon and Kitty went out with a bang! Loss after loss on the tables and the pokeys saw the pikey pair creeping back to their room at 1.30am determined never to gamble again. The humiliation for Dragon of bringing out a handful of change at the roulette table, searching for a half dollar, while the man beside him happily toyed with a $200 bet was just a chip too far for the glamorous pair.

Yes dear readers, these imfamous words were uttered as we re-entered our Wynn Resort bedroom after a tiring day out in Vegas. Room service had replaced all of the giant sized complimentary spa toiletries again and it was time to fill our cases and get out the Sainsburys own-brand shower gel and Fructis shampoo. Due to the size of the bottles there was no way we’d get through them each day and at their room rates there was no way I was surrending these little beauties back to housekeeping. It is quality and will be better appreciated at home. Trouble is the bottles are on the large size and we have 4 nights here…

Well, in very un-Vegas style, we walked out and visited the Atomic Testing Museum which told the story of the history of atomic science and testing in the Nevada Desert from Oppenheimer to the present day. It was a fascinating museum. I couldn’t believe people came to Vegas in the fifties to stay in a hotel and then go out and watch a test explosion from the ’safety’ of their motel with just a pair of dark glasses for protection. I also couldn’t believe that I could happily spend three hours in a science-based museum but it was excellent. Lots of interviews with families and engineers who were involved at the time. And it was brought to life with vintage TV footage from each era as you walked around. We rounded off our visit with a walk across the road to Mr Beijing to partake of their $5.99 set lunch. And fantastic it was too – much preferred it to the Bellagio’s Eat All You Can Buffet. And miles cheaper too.

Today we are going downtown to see the Neon Museum; a scrap-yard and museum dediated to housing the old giant neon signs of Vegas from the 1930s onwards. Plan is then to explore the downtown area and possibly drop by a wedding chapel. Ive spotted the ‘Gracelands Wedding Chapel.’ Mr P is less than interested.

But this isn’t the news people want. More imp0rtantly, what of Red Dragon and Kitty Glitter?

Well, a mild altercation on the strip was noted by onlookers when Kitty wanted to have her photo taken with an Elvis. At just $5 it seemed an incredible bargain to get a picture taken with the King himself despite the reality being a rather overweight man the wrong side of 45 with a fake-bake tan. Red Dragon was less keen however saying ‘$5 was a rip off.’

That night, however, his sour-puss approach to celebrity photography paid off. All of the tables had upped their minimum bet to $15 and with his budget, he wouldn’t get his chips on the baize before he’d have to leave. That left Kitty to get back on the Black Jack machines and the subsequent infliction of another crushing loss. A rather cruel tabloid headline was spotted this morning in the Vegas Star with a picture of Ms Glitter slouched at the aforementioned slot machine: ‘Pikey on the Pokeys‘. We understand Kitty has commenced legal proceedings.

Last night, that reknowned international gambler Mr. P ( aka ‘Red Dragon’ ) and his glamourous table assistant ‘Kitty Glitter’, his wife of eight years, were seen taking their chance with lady luck at the infamous Wynn casino complex. Wearing a maroon wool-mix V-neck sweater which sources reveal had not been changed for quite some time, Dragon looked relaxed and nonchalent as he cashed in a staggering $40 in exchange for roulette chips. Kitty Glitter, always at his side, was seen to whisper guidance in his ear to aid his betting strategy. And lady luck certainly seemed to be holding Dragon’s hand. A huge scoop of nearly $5 left onlookers gasping as Dragon started out on a roller coaster evening of highs and lows. Kitty, sublime in a H&M £7.99 top, teamed with jeans and a pair of black Clarks pumps which we understand had been passed to her by Mrs.Q, seemed agitated and on edge. It was later revealed that she had suffered an enourmous loss of more than $7 on the Black Jack pokeys and hadn’t yet come to terms with her financial situation. At this point in the evening Dragon was seen to order one of the free beers from the hostess roaming the tables. Unfortunately, lady luck seemed to have let go of Dragon’s hand and a series of crippling losses meant that in a short space of time, circa 15 minutes,  he had surrendered all of his chips to the house. Regretably, within this short period of time, the hostess had not had time to return with his drink. Dragon was heard to mutter to Kitty ‘ do you think we can just hang around the table until she shows again with my beer or would that be really scummy?’ Clearly a decision was made to move on as the couple were spotted making their way to the 1cent and 5cent slot machines where, after losing a further $2, Kitty was heard to exclaim ‘ these things are fixed. Lets go back to the room and have one of those diet cokes we bought from the supermarket and some of those salted cashews.’

We can but wait to see what tonight brings the hapless couple…

Well, we have almost been snowed in!! The snow certainly knows how to fall here, none of those petty flurries we get at home. It’s a veritable winder wonderland. Yesterday the longer hiking walks were closed due to the conditions so we started the day with a drive up through the park. The snow was amazing but due to the low and heavy cloud visibility was restricted and this, combined with winds and gusting snow made driving quite an interesting experience. After returning for lunch at the Lodge, the snow appeared to have eased a little so we drove up to the entrance to the Weeping Rock walk which was paved and clambered up through ice and snow to an enormous cavern covered with icicles and running with water. The short walk was still quite treacherous as it was both icy and snowy underfoot. Next we drove on to do the Riverside Walk – again paved -which along the side of guess what – a river. Still it was beautiful and we had the obligatory snowball fight on the way which turned sour when I knocked Ian’s glasses off. Walking back through the snow we were glad to return to our lodge and get ready for dinner.

This morning we awoke to heavy snow – a good 8 inches deep if not more. The main road out of Zion has been cleared so we will be fine to start our drive to Las Vegas. Plan is to detour to Lake Mead to see the Hoover Dam then onto the Wynn in Vegas where we will begin hoovering up the buffets.

Well here we are – settled into our ‘eco’ lodge inside Zion National Park. The drive in was spectacular through rock gorges and fir-covered hills spattered with snow. Most incredible was the mile-long tunnel through one of the ‘mountains.’ Even I with my right-hand side brain could admire the feat of engineering. Leaving the tunnel the drive followed a steep switch-back course downwards.

‘Can I drive Ian?’

Stunned silence from my beloved.

‘What do you think?’

‘Possibly no?’

‘Definitely no.’

And to be clear, there are right hand turns, the need for close control of the vehicle and no straight line driving. His words are harsh but fair. We both remember all too well the ‘Hurst Castle Visitor Sign Incident’ when through no fault of my own the sign came rushing towards the car as I left the road and mounted a poorly signposted hillock.

But Zion is amazing. We did the ‘Emerald Pool Loop’ walk which took us on a climb up through the side of the mountain past a huge frozen waterfall, a secondary pool and lastly at the top, a secluded sandy beach which met a pool below another iced wall of water. Clambering over the rocks was great fun although again it is easy to forget the altitude as you puff your way upwards. And as for cold – gradually it does get warmer as you trek but gloves and warm coats are essential here. The landscape is very different to Bryce – much greener and with many streams and ‘water features.’ Elk and deer roam freely and there is a wonderful calm being high up in the mountains.

We ate last night in the lodge ‘dining room’ enjoying good wine, home-made meatloaf and a chocolate lava pudding ( one of the ones when the inside is hot and oozes choclate sauce ). But – why oh why, when bringing my dessert did the waitress feel it necessary to bring two spoons? I don’t share chocolate but made an exception last night. Even Mr.P who doesn’t have a sweet tooth enjoyed it.

This morning the snow is falling hard. It’s 7.30am and everything is white and getting whiter!!! How much walking we’ll be able to do in this I don’t know as visibility is getting poorer by the minute. I’m secretly hoping to be snowed in inside our lodge – just me, Mr P and more of that chocolate lava cake. But with one spoon only. Actually – skip Mr P – he can drive out and bring me provisions while I eat.

I think this might just be our favourite canyon yet! The ride to get here was certainly something else. An unintentional detour took us on a gravel, pot-holed road through the pink and white mountains. A fantastic if bumpy drive through gorges, snowy forest, mountains and across frozen streams to arrive at a panoramic view-point overlooking a vista of pink, orange and vanilla-coloured peaks. And what of Bryce?

Well – this park is surreal – scenery which literary takes your breath away at 2,870 meters above sea level. Strange peach and orange candy stalagmite-type formations packed close together. The snow which still lies on the ground and over the stone gorges only adds to the strangeness of the landscape: bright orange against olive-green spruce iced with sparkling white snow. We spent two hours driving between the view points to get as many pictures as we could before the light failed and in the event that tomorrow is cloudy. Tomorrow is a hiking day where we plan to walk between the ‘flames’ of the red rocks and take in as much scenery as possible on foot. Weather is clear and bright but cold – and with the altitude leaves you short of breath both at the lack of oxygen and at the wonder of the fabulous rugged views.

Arizona’s an arid desert right? Not known for its seafood? Think again! We discovered the wonderful Blue Buddha Sushi Lounge where we spent the night in Page by Lake Powell. A cool kinda funky bar with low lighting and a fresh approach to fish, Blue Buddha delivered big time. We started with our old favourites – Miso soup and seaweed salad moving on to the Chef’s choice of sushi rolls, finishing with Mount Fuji: vanilla bean, chocolate and caramel mousses. Huge portion sizes of amazing tasty food in contemporary surroundings. Who’d have thought it? Love to say we’d be back but it’s a long way to travel!

OK – so it’s one the seven natural wonders of the world and is certainly amazing but because the human eye can only take in a portion of it you just can’t appreciate how vast it is. Also you can’t see down to the bottom at many of the view points so again, although a mile deep, you don’t get the depth. So, we decided we should do one of the hikes down and back up to get a better feel for it. We decided on the 9 mile loop but it was clear that as we approached the 3 mile mark we wouldn’t get back in day light which would have been nothing short of reckless with the switchback paths and sheer drops. We ended up doing the 6 mile loop – 3 miles down – 3 miles up. Not far you think – the 3 miles down was easy – but I can’t say I enjoyed the 3 miles continuous steep climb back up! The views were good but again the walk was more about getting some exercise and seeing how the canyon looked at a lower level. I have to say I didn’t like the place too much – it was eerie. Totally silent with just sheer cliff faces around you and hardly any wildlife. The walk was made more hairy by a wrong turning we took which ended up with us scrambling along the wrong cliff face, scittering over rock falls and clambering around huge rocks while below us gaped the mile deep canyon.  Something was clearly wrong and returning the way we came we saw we had missed the very obvious marked path down. Fortunately Ian had switched to auto pilot and engaged his natural survival instincts and got us back on the right path:

‘Ju – stop panicing. Walk normally. If you keep shaking you’ll fall down the side. Stop being so stupid and get a move on. Look – follow me.’

Well we made it down – ate our luch and began an arduous close on 3 hour walk back up – remember we were over 2000 meters above sea level so I needed a fair number of stops to get my breath back!

Overall – glad we were did it – but not overwhelmed by the canyon as we thought we should be.

And now this morning it’s circa 8am – we go off shortly to drive to Lake Powell where we are staying one night on our way to Bryce Canyon. Ian has just emerged from the bathroom with the words:

‘I’ve fixed those sliding doors in the shower.’

One was a little stiff that’s all but that is always enough for Ian to get out his trusty travel tools and get to fixing!!!

Onwards and upwards!!!!

What? It’s 9.30am. The sun is high in a clear blue sky. We are in Monument Valley of all places. But your desert horses feel the cold and refuse to take people out until they’ve warmed up, had a light brunch and a fag ? Oh – I see. But it’s not too cold to hire a jeep for the day with a driver for three times the cost of a horse ride ?  That’s Arizona commerce for you !

Understandably we passed on the jeep drive and took our own 4 X 4 on a drive through Monument Valley. First thoughts were that they must have filmed movies like Capricorn 1 here. The landsape is like Mars ( ok – Mars less the plants and wildlife ). Orange sand, orange plants and orangey brown rock. And the silence. That’s what struck me the most. Utter silence – not even bird song. Not even a car or plane over head.

‘Ju – put that video camera down or I’ll shove it down your throat.’

The silence is broken.

I’m determined to make a blockbuster great with my new toy and already have huge plans for special effects and music and voice overs. It’s going to be Cannes material but Ian is not convinced. But I’m loving my Sony Handycam. So much that it came out with us on our afternoon walk around the valley. A dusty hot walk around one of the buttes, my Sony Handycamming and a rather rough picnic was enough for Ian. We ended back at the hotel late that afternoon to enjoy coffee and pecan pie on our balcony overlooking the valley. And what of the late rising nags with circulatory problems ? No sign. Probably watching the sport in their PJs, hooves up and having a blast.

Lying 30 miles outside of Moab, is Dead Horse Point State Park. Driving to the park we wondered if the detour would be worth the effort but when we arrived at the visitor centre and started our explorations we realised how much of a travesty it would have been to miss this. The combination of complete silence paired with a landscape straight out of a science fiction film took our breath away. As far as the eye could see the land was ruptured with gorges, plateaus, canyon walls, lakes – all set against the impressive backdrop of snow capped mountains which seemed to hang in the sky. And snaking through this wound the colorado river. Possibly the most impressive view I have ever clapped eyes on – it was difficult to take in the vastness of the terrain. Dragging ourselves away, we started our  drive on to Monument Valley to the View Hotel where we would be staying two nights. Little did we know what kind of drive this would be…snaking down the mountain on a 1:10 gradient rough track I held my breath and Ian didnt seem in the mood for chatting. We did however stop and take a photo of the road before getting back in the car and praying that no-one came up the other way! In fact the ride was so hairy I was forced to speed eat the rest of our packet of Reeses Peanut Butter Cakes ‘Miniatures.’ ( I’m working my way through the entire Reeses range so it was good to finish another product and get ready to move onto the Reeses Nutrageous Bar ).

Arriving at our hotel in Monument Valley, we checked in and walked into our room to be met with an unbelievable sight. Positioned inside the park, and facing the infamous rock formations, we walked out of our patio doors onto the bacony and didn’t speak for a while! One of the seven natural wonders of the world and we were practically touching them! A picture of the view from our balcony is included below. We couldn’t help thinking however that this hotel should never have been built inside the park and that the wildness of the landscape should be left to nature. Then we had a beer and watched the sun set over the famous rock buttes from outside on our balcony and thought what a jolly good idea it was that the Navajo Indians thought to build it.