Returned home from the annual Winchester Writers Conference yesterday to find a copy of the Hampshire View July edition in the post for me. Low and behold, a story I submitted well over a year ago has been published! ‘The Key‘ is the first short story I ever wrote and dates back a while so my writing has changed a hell of a lot since then but still great to see it in print! Thank you Hampshire View!
Just finished reading Julie Powell’s ‘Julie and Julia’ – the true story of a thirty year-old New Yorker who devotes a year of her life to cooking every recipe in Julia Childs’ ‘Mastering the Art of French Cooking.’ A bored secretary working in a New York Government office. Julie Powell took the decision to do something completely different – cook her way through the entire Julia Childs tome in 365 days. Living in a small apartment with her husband, Powell tells the story of her amazing year: what she learnt about herself, what she wanted from life and of course, how to cook. Most interestingly to a fellow blogger, Julie set up a blog and wrote daily about her life and her experiences of cooking each individual recipe. I first learnt of this project through the film starring Meryl Streep and loved the concept – doing something just because you can – and as Julie asks on her blog : ‘ What could happen?’ Well for a start you publish a book, sell the rights to enable the production of a film and set yourself up with a posh laptop as a writer. Clearly lots! This book is a sure sell win to both wanna be writers and cooks alike. And if you dont fancy pan frying offal, boning a duck or killing a lobster – just read about Julie doing it – SO much easier!
Lesson learnt. Every time. Stick to a Jamie Oliver and it takes a lot to go wrong. For people like me who are not ‘delicate’ cooks, baking frosted cup cakes and simmnel cakes at every opportunity, a Jamie Oliver offers the chance to get down, get mucky and get throwing a load of garb in, to produce edible food-related products. So, with my annual Father’s Day Al Fresco Soiree looming, I decided to pull out the Mr.O’s and make something which I didn’t need to revert to Prozac to cook. So, as Dad loves all things pasta, I decided to make Jamie’s fish lasagne – a bit fiddly but well worth it. We started with a selection of mediterranean yummies such as baked camemberts soaked in wine and studded with garlic – SO easy – SO unhealthy, baked tomatoes, chorizo and other such easy ’shove in the oven and then shove in your mouth’ items. Dessert was Mr O’s Maple Pecan Tart and Eton Mess. A total calorific over-load. But was the food the star attraction? How could it be dear reader with Lord Chortles in attendance, entertaining us with his pithy annecodotes, endearing sense of humour and his enquiring mind. Sporting the very latest in pastel dungarees and a new side parting, LC really looked the part as he headed up the dining room table. We thank you LC for making our Father’s Day Soiree so successful and special. And what of Mrs Q ? After arriving with Mr Q and kindly passing me a large box of chocolates : ‘they were half price’ we came to a decision. Due to our mutual ballooning weight problem we are now on a diet and competing to lose half a stone within the shortest possible time frame. Mrs Q is starting with a diet which she reliably informs me is recommended to heart patients pre – surgery: nil by mouth for 3 days followed by a week of salad. I however will be doing it the sensible way – nothing for 2 weeks except her half price box of chocolates, the odd cod curry and a post work glass of white to supress any latent hunger. We shall be reporting back shortly on progress.
Now, if this little introdution gives the impression that I am a Domestic Goddess ( or in the words of Mrs Q – Domestic Slag ) then think again. For, this evening I thought I would come home and treat Mr P to a Thai Cod Curry, Thai Salad and Rice in the garden – candles et al. All I can say is, Delia – get a grip love – re-think and then re-think again. How can your ‘quick cod and mango thai curry’ produce something that looked like fish desperately trying to swim out of a coconut sludge. And as for the thai salad – Ian’s words ring in my ears : ‘ I can’t eat that – I wouldn’t make that again.’ Yes – another post-work culinary failure. Not enough chilli, too much coconut milk and too much bloody mess. Sorry Delia – but you just don’t do it for me. Give me Mr O any day. Now where are Mrs Q’s ‘eat by 31st December 2008′ half price chocolates…
Well, I cant believe it’s two months since I last blogged. I guess it’s a combination of being ultra busy at home and ditto at Company X. So, after such a long time away dear readers, I guess it’s time for a long catch-up post.
Life has been very kind to me the last couple of months. While the days have been long, I’ve been experiencing a new sense of contentment. Not that I was unhappy before – more that I’ve gained a better purchase on what is important in life. Now that all sounds rather spiritual and self-effacing I know but I’ve developed a new and intense curiosity in the world around me – almost like being a child again! The world, which before seemed like just some place where I lived and enjoyed life, now feels like something really special. By the way I’m excluding the chav who put a note on my car two weeks ago telling me to ‘ f**k off and park somewhere else’ likewise the woman in Sainsburys tonight who produced a sovereign-ringed paw full of 5p off vouchers and held up the queue for quarter of an hour – you two are excluded. No, the things I’m thinking of are the way the world is so ordered.
For example, at Company X to-day, I was lucky enough to be taken out at lunch by Mr.M to visit his apiary. Now that for you non-bee types is where a bee-type person keeps his bee hives. It was absolutely fascinating seeing the way in which these creatures order themselves and create a whole community with roles and responsibilities. Mr M showed me how you smoke ‘em out and get into the hive to look over the individual panels which sit in the house. The Queen bees are amazing – just one per hive and they seem to rule the roost. It was totally wierd standing in the bee keeper’s garb with little buzzers buzzing round your head and body. They are curious creatures and not as scary as I had at first thought. Thank you Mr M for a memorable lunch-time. In fact I am so interested I’m thinking of getting a hive in the garden prior to Mr.P’s arrival back home at the week end. He would be thrilled. He loves winged beasts.
So what else has been occurring? Well we’ve had some great times with the lovely Junior. He has brought so much love and happiness into our lives and continues to thrill with his wonderful smiles and chubbly legs. It’s clear he doesn’t suffer fools and knows his rights – I’ve never seen a babe so determined and happy to dish out dirty looks when you cough or sneeze. Well Junior – you are a tribute to your own Auntie’s intolerances!
In terms of reading, I’ve had my nose in books for most of the past two months. The most recent read was Hilary Mantel’s ‘Beyond Black’. A satirical look at the world of mediumship, this book could have been so good but after the first 100 pages I lost the will and continued to the end only because I have a policy in life never to give up on a book. I found it over-written, over-long and lacking a real plot I could get a handle on. By the time I got to the last fifty pages I was counting down the paragraphs to the end. Not a patch on Wolf Hall, one of the most amazing books I’ve ever read.
One of the real triumphs of the last few weeks has been getting out and doing some walking along the South Coast path. The weather has been perfect for hiking and the sea and cliffs looks wonderful in the sun. Sitting over-looking Lulworth Cove, eating a crab sandwich and listening to the gulls whooping and screaming, I felt totally peaceful. Except ten minutes later I found there was no bus service on Sundays back to Wool station and had to get ‘Jean’ in the gift shop to call me a cab.
So, dear readers, I apologise for my blogging absence and promise to do better in the future! It’s time now to check my e-bay bids, get grouted up and go out. So long for now – and will be back blogging later. Promise.
Last night thirty keen curry and karaoke types from Company X descended on that top Indian establishment The Jewel in the Crown. And having heard the dulcet tones of many of the vocalists and experienced top hospitality from Kash’s boys, I can speak with confidence when I say that the staff were the jewels and we merry-making music types – the crown. And as for Howling Karaoke - they were the best !! The most comprehensive range of songs I’ve ever seen in a karaoke set-up. So, if you like a bit of a howl and a great night out – book ‘em Danno – they’re excellent!
Starting at 6pm and not finishing until after eleven thirty, this was a night to be remembered with appearances made by Elton John, Lionel Ritchie, Neil Diamond, Abba, Tammy Wynette, The Black Eyed Peas and of course Elvis – a star-studded night indeed. And everyone joined in which was fantastic – and as we all said: the combination of curry and karaoke is always a winner!
So, as we let our voices recover, hangovers to subside and dignity to be regained, we look forward to the next opportunity to howl with the Howling Karaoke team! And as for Kazim and the Jewel boys? They were absolutely fantastic and made our evening so special. An enormous thank you to them for all of their efforts and hospitality! They are the best in town!!!
Hurray for a sunny day! After all this cloud, rain and wind it’s wonderful to look out of the office and see sun and blue skies. Just a shame I’m on the wrong side of the glass! What this does mean is that with the prospect of a sunny week end, Saturday will be a day out and not a day in doing cleaning and DIY. My hot suggie is a train to Weymouth with a walk on the coastal path to Durdle Door and Lulworth Cove. Lunch at aforementioned DD and then a walk back along the cliffs.
Life just now is very domesticated. Ian has finished decorating the front spare bedroom and now cleared the landing of all DIY accroutrements. So now it’s time for the interesting part – choosing curtains and carpet and furniture. The plan is also to lay a wooden floor in the hallway as polishing the existing boards will not be possibe due to warping and damage so we’ll buy a nice oak flooring to lay. We’re thinking a dark red carpet to go up the stairs and across the landing with the addition of brass stair rods if funds permit…
So what of the writing? Well, in effect I’ve had a three month break having been back at work for three months but now feel ready to start the editing process of the book. The break in writing has been refreshing after 12 months slog where I got to a point where my creative brain would just seize up and I felt exhausted. But 12 weeks of using the other half of my brain has left me hungry to get started again so that I have a fully edited novel ready to take to the Winchester conference in July ( thanks to Kerry and Kay for nagging me on this! )
But there is no room for culture tonight – for this evening we have a curry and karaoke night at the Jewel in the Crown - the very best Indian restuarant on the South Coast. Yes! Thirty people from Company X will be descending on the Jewel for a night of spice and song. So, watch out Shirley – here we come!
We were delighted to be joined by Junior for lunch on Easter Sunday. Following initial concern that due to a virus he may not be able to attend, this plucky lad showed that he was made of stronger stuff and arrived on time escorted by his minders, Mr and Mrs Q. It would clearly take more than a bug to keep this little tot away.
Wearing a Pooh Bear themed ensemble, Junior quickly entered into the spirit of the proceedings by heading up the lunch table in his co-ordinated teddy motif high chair. Chewing on a coaster and surveying his fellow diners, Junior watched as the table tucked into a roast turkey meal followed by Mrs Q’s crowning glory – a sticky banoffee pie. Washed down with a couple of bottles of Bucks Fizz, the lunch was a resounding success, re-confirmed when Junior was overheard to comment: ‘ The turkey looked succulent and well basted and I was particularly impressed by the golden colour of the roast potatoes. Cooking doesnt get better than this.’
After lunch, the party retired to take coffee and listen to that wonderfully spiritual ensemble ‘Pick ‘n’ Strum.’ Strum had come prepared with some new ideas and Pick was only too happy to join in and fill the Easter air with a cordial harmony of melodic sounds. Junior meanwhile was seen to accept gifts marking his first Easter which, despite feeling under the weather, did not deter his enthusiasm and excitement. Can nothing get this little lad down? We cannot but be impressed by his positive and cheery attitude, especially as Mrs Q then commenced to rummage through a bin bag of unwanted clothes donated by the writer. What was particularly special was her willingness to model a host of potential outfits, showing her creativity, vivid imagination and detachment from reality.
After trifle and another of Mrs Q’s triumphs – an enormous chocolate and raspberry cake - Junior announced his intention to depart. ‘I’ve had a wonderful day,’ he was heard to say,’ and thank my family for their kind gifts. The trifle and cake would have been a firework to the palate – so why do I get given pink yogurt? I’ll be taking that up with my personal nutritionist.’
Having waved off the merry party, Mrs E is understood to have commented to Mr E: ‘£2o for an Easter Egg ? What a wicked waste! And she’s not wiped those skirting boards yet I’ll bet – I couldn’t live like that.’
Just finished reading a lovely copy of John Masefield’s The Box of Delights. My in-laws bought me a beautiful retro copy of this ‘delight’ for Christmas. I’d wanted to read it for ages as it is a 1930s timeless British childrens’ classic. At first I struggled with the paralell universe inhabited by Kay and his young friends but after the first three chapters I adapted quickly to his world where magic, medieval lanes and mystery are commonplace. I have to say I would challenge Philip Pullman, of His Dark Materials trilogy, to deny having been just a little bit inspired by Masefield’s curious world.
The story starts with Kay arriving home for Christmas by train. On a late December afternoon, with snow starting to fall, Kay encounters a strange Punch and Judy man who grants him custody of his ‘box of delights.’ The box enables Kay to ‘go swiftly’, ‘go small’ and to peer into strange worlds which he is able to enter by just looking into the old box. Kay quickly falls into trouble as a criminal group come after him, keen to gain the box which Kay seeks to protect.
While the dialogue is dated and the narrative at times laborious and overly explanatory, the descriptions are vivid and colourful as Masefield portrays a parallel world where as much is unfamiliar as familiar. A lovely nostalgic read which transports the reader back to a wonderful wintry world seen through the eyes of an eleven year old boy. And especially for Dad, I’ve attached a YouTube link where the original music can be listed to.
We were thrilled today to be joned by Junior for lunch. This little lad, clearly accustomed to dining out, was spotting smiling for photographers as they snapped away at him. But dealing with the paparazzi is all in a day’s work for this young socialite. Dressed in a smart casual combo of cowboy motif dungarees with feature turn-ups and matching navy corduroy soft bootees, Junior continues to raise the bar and set the scene for fashionistas in the PO postcode area.
Dining on a 100% organic meal, Junior demonstrated his committment to healthy living and a zero tolerance to harmful additives and colourings. His official minder, Mrs Q, finished the look and feel of sophisticated dining with a stunning soil and bark coloured outfit, teemed with leggings and hoof boots. Standing with hands on hips, with her overly toned calves, she looked rather like Henry the Eighth as she was seen shovelling scampi and chips into her mouth. Normally a lover of suckling pig and a dancing bear, Mrs Q was still able to relax into casual dining mode.
Rounding off the lunch, Junior ( aka Sammy Sparkle ) joined that infamous Vegas gambler Kitty Glitter for a go on the slotties. This young man really sets the social scene alight with his ready smiles, erudite sense of humour and ability to charm. Clearly no stranger to such hostleries, Junior exited to enjoy an afternoon of soft play before heading home for a light supper. We thank Junior for his time and look forward to seeing him again soon!
This could be the dullest post ever written but for the few people out there who are fascinated with the minutiae of suburban living it might hold a modicum of interest.
I started thinking about my daily life and became conscious of the repititious nature of it. Not that I am bored by any means, just that systematic and repetitive routines play an important part in my day to day living. Its not just about doing certain things, but doing them in the same order which gives me some control and organisation. So, detailed below is an introduction to a day in the life of a resident of No 35.
Morning – Pre work – this routine never seems to change and the order of activities remains constant:
7am get up
Go down to kitchen, switch on Radio 4, put kettle on and turn the TV on in the front room to GMTV.
Do some clearing up, load dishwasher and put washing on
Stare out of kitchen window
Remember I should have filled the kettle with water
Make sandwiches and pack them up ready for work and decide not to buy chocolate at work
Weigh myself
Groan
Shower, wash hair and blow dry in front of GMTV with a cup of tea
Eat cereal such as Maple Crisp in front of TV and wish had gone for healthier option but finish bowl anyway because it’s a crime to throw away food
Stare out of front room window watching someone tampering with a car – or maybe just going to work
Panic at lateness of hour
Clean teeth and grout up with make-up
Take Ian tea and cereal in bed
Check out cat – is it still alive? Does it require feeding?
Get dressed and leave for work
Return home as have forgotten sandwiches/phone/purse/pass
See cat has turned up and still shows vital signs so feed it
Exit building
Curse at the time
Evening – after work
Leave work circa 6/6.30
Buy food for dinner from Sainsburys avoiding scary Shirley sorts hanging around own brand vodka
Arrive home, switch on TV, and turn on radio 4 in kitchen – I hate silent rooms when I’m on my own
Put keys back in handbag and throw away chocolate wrapper from work
Hide latest arrival from Amazon
Unpack food in kitchen and put CD on: Elvis or Duffy or some ‘Ethnic tripe’ or maybe a talking book
Prepare food – my own recipes – often an acquired taste…
While food cooks watch Coach Trip
Plan caustic remark in event Ian is late ie arrives after 7.30pm which is courtesy threshold
Ian arrives at 7.35pm
Secretly pleased that Ian is late as can deliver aforementioned pre-prepared caustic remark
Eat together in the Dining Room with candles – many of which I am informed are ‘ a bloody fire hazard.’
Ian doesn’t wash up
Ian watches BBC News while I check out emails and Facebook etc
Ian either watches a film, does some programming or plays his guitar
I read and wish Ian had washed up
Tell Ian to make sure all ‘bloody fire hazard’ candles are blown out before he comes to bed
Clean teeth, remove ‘No More Nails’ grout from chops, check eye brows, put vaseline on lips and retire to bed
Unwrap latest arrival from Amazon and hide in middle of book stack by bed
Listen to Ian playing guitar and wish he practised more often…
ZZZzzzzzzsleepzzzzzZZZZZZ
